27 should be a good year

So I turned 27 today. As I've matured, I've acquired new skills over the years. But 27 should be a landmark year.

See, 27 is 3 to the power of 3 and is also 30 minus 3, and I rolled a die thrice and got 3 each time. 27 is also the escape key in the ASCII character set, and the smallest possible integer that can be named in English with 4 syllables. There are also 27 straight lines on a cubic surface (whatever that means) and is the atomic number of cobalt.

All of this leads to some exciting new skills and abilities to be developed over the next year.

With 27 being 3 x 3 x 3, I will essentially have 3 natural abilities enhanced threefold in three different ways. This basically boils down to strength, speed and invisibility. By next year it will be harder to see me than ever! It will also be a lot faster to get around and helping people move should be a snap. For speed in particular, I should be three times faster at cycling, typing, and rolling smokes. If the rest of you are lucky, one of those might get replaced with speedier answering of emails and phone messages. Only time will tell!

27 being the ASCII character for the escape key is pretty awesome. Nobody will be able to catch me, ever. I don't know exactly how this will work, but I'm pretty sure it will involve teleportation. Blip-blip!

Being such a relatively small number with so many syllables can only mean one thing: I will never be at a loss for words. In the past, there have been several situations where someone has said something that completely baffles me. For example, in the past a simple question such as "what operating system should I use on my computer?" could have easily left me stumped and speechless. Well folks, those days are numbered and going forward I should have no problem telling you what to write in a card when one of your co-workers spouse's ransomed by Shriners for miniature gasoline.

I really don't know about this whole 27 straight lines on a cubic surface deal. It'll probably mean that I can conjure energy balls to throw at my opponents or something, but I've never been good at geometry. Probably end up calling those Ballz.

Cobalt however, that is cool. Cobalt is used in the electrode of batteries, which will allow me to charge up by simply touching an electrical socket. A radioactive isotope of cobalt is used in cancer treatment, so not only should I be able to smoke to my heart's content, I'll be sharing the cancer-curing love. I hear there's a lot of money to be made in this area. Cobalt is also used extensively for making dyes and inks. This can only mean one thing: I'll finally be able to draw! At one point there was a Linux "net appliance" marketed with the name Cobalt. That'll probably just mean that my mind will have an easier time processing large amounts of data and become more computer like in general.  Ideally it would mean telepathy, but I don't want to get ahead of myself.

One area I don't see any logical reason for improvement is fashion, and I'll probably need some help. I'm thinking black jump suit (not too tight) with a red cape. There should be flames, and a spot to put my sword so that it doesn't interfere with the rear wheel of my bicycle. If you have any suggestions, leave them here. I also need a logo for the giant spot light that will be cast on the clouds to summon me to an emergency. Perhaps a stealth bomber, cause those are freaking rad. But an anarchist one with lasers and shit.

It won't all be fun and games though. Just look at the number 27 in binary: 11011. I'm gonna have one hell of an arch-nemesis, and not only will she/he/it be round, she/he/it will be hard to fight with all the carnival mirrors around she/he/it. Better study up by watching that fight scene at the end of "Enter the Dragon" with all the mirrors in it and hope that my invisibility works in time.

Destiny ho!